I'm my kitties bitch

     I love my cats. I am not one of those pet lovers that buy expensive bling for their cats or dogs or goats, etc... I do get them something every once in a while, to put on them and piss them off! I must say though, I am their total bitch. Those cats have me wrapped around their tails! Again, I am their total bitch! I just can't hardly stand to smack their little asses, when they deserve it.

     My first baby is Ms Kitty Fu, a fluffy gray that has multiple personalities and there really isn't one that is sweet. They, all of her personalities, have attitude. The nicest one, pretty much tolerates us. When we got Fu Cat, we had a dachshund named Oskar and we say she became a Wiener cat. She acted like our little dachshund. She actually picked up his habits, quirky little ways. I think if we had gotten to have Oskar with us longer, she might have grown up to be a nicer little cat. Maybe losing Oskar is what turned her so turdy. Oh well, what can ya do?  It used to be, that I was only allowed to pet her at night, when everyone was asleep. Like she didn't want anyone to know that she fraternized with me. Yes I said it, fraternize! Now am allowed to pet her with people around, when she feels like it. I am tolerated. "Lovin' Man" on the other hand, can do no wrong. She will search him out, to get loved on, in public. That is a slap in the face, my face. The one that scoops her poop's, face! I guess it is her quirkiness that I love so much. I am positive that she thinks she should be an only cat. I am positive that she is planning some kind of "payback" for not being an only cat anymore.

     One evening I was sitting in the house at the sewing machine, making something, I can't remember what. I hear a holler from the garage. "Lovin' Man" yells for me to come outside to see something. So, I put on my slippers and go outside to see the gnarliest looking cat I have ever seen. The first surprise was that "Lovin' Man", who isn't really a cat fan, has a cat rubbing around his legs. She is a calico, and is one RUFF looking calico. She was just meowing and meowing and rubbing all over his legs. I felt so bad for this little scrawny cat. So being the kind hearted person that I am (okay, when it comes to animals, that is) I sprinted into the house to get a little food. I sat on the golf cart in the garage with this little cat while she snarfed down the food I brought out. She was starving. So we left her an afghan on the golf cart seat and food and water and shut her in (or so we thought) in the garage. The next morning I saw out the window, a big mean and ugly grey cat coming out of the garage. I run out there and the food is gone and so is the gnarly little calico. I felt so bad. The next day, when she comes around again, I grab her up, with the permission of "Lovin' Man" and take her to the vet. I get her shots and checked out for any bad kitty stuff and she is alright, but pregnant. That means, not spaying yet. He wasn't my regular vet, I took her to my regular vet, the fabulous Dr. Smith, and she says she doesn't think she is pregnant and spays her .. she wasn't pregnant. Introducing our new cat, GlidaBelle, to Fu Cat was not an nice task. I know you are stuck on her name. GlidaBelle, what the hell were you thinking, how could you give that sweet cat, such a name. Well, honestly, because I freaking wanted to. I liked it, it fit her and so she is GlidaBelle. Those of us who are lucky, we get to call her Glidy or Glids.. those that don't know her, it is GlidaBelle, to you. Her and Fu Cat became good friends eventually, played and stayed relatively happy. Until....

     Let me introduce Ffiona, my newest "daughter". Our wild ass little youngin'. Talk about hell with a tail. She is a little siames that I found at the Shelter Buddies Shelter close to our house. I was looking online and saw her and fell in love instantly. I called immediately and said.. she is mine, I want her! It took some sweet talking and sucking up to actually get "Lovin' Man" to agree to let me have her. So I hauled buns down to the shelter and got there at 12:05 and damned if I missed them being open by 5 minutes. 5 minutes and I couldn't bring that sweet faced baby home with me. I was devastated, but not defeated! So I called my one of my besties, Pam, and asked if she wanted to go with me the next day.. and off we went. I got to bring my baby home. After calling her by three different names, she became Ffiona. It fits her amazingly well! She is definitely a Ffiona. Her coat is turning a light cream color now and she has the most beautiful blue eyes. She is a sweet and ornery little furry shit! If I am not fighting with her with my hands.. she attacks my feet. She wouldn't play with toys the first week, was scared of them. Now she is Queen of the toys. I am sure she believes in the immortal words of Daffy Duck ~ mine, mine all mine!

Since the cats have all gotten to know each other, things are somewhat better but screwed up at the same time. The Queen of the house is still definitely Fu, and she wants everyone to know it, people included! Where Fu would not play with either Glida or Ffiona, now she will play with Ffiona, if not somewhat with a mean shit ass streak to it, but she won't play with GlidaBelle anymore at all. She just hisses at her. Like it is Glida's fault that we brought Ffiona. I can honestly say, Glida had no input on my decision to adopt Ffiona, but Fu doesn't give a rat's ass! Someone is going to pay and pay big!

Ffiona loves to play with GlidaBelle, but the girls treated her like a leper when she first got here. There was NO love in the house during about a two week period. GlidaBelle warmed up to her fairly quick, not Fu Cat. So Glida and Ffiona have become buds, Ffiona is such a bad ass though that Glida has to run sometimes. Discretion is the better part of valor for her.  Fu Cat will now play with Ffiona but in a mean "I will smack you hard as hell" type way! There is a lot of mrrroww and pfftt going on, as well as the cat trees being smacked into the walls. I still crack up at it though. They totally know that I am their bitch. They take advantage of it. But what can I do...? This bitch loves her cats...